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ITALO FERRANTE

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Lines for Fortune Cookies You Won’t Eat Because You’re Allergic to Vanilla

Italo Ferrante

Why don’t we sign off with ‘all the worst’?

 

Mrs Puff needs to issue a restraining order against SpongeBob.

 

Look at me avoiding you everywhere.

 

Patrick shouldn’t have popped the oldest living bubble.

 

I shouldn’t have posted a letter of complaint to myself.

 

Look at me getting a summer job 19 miles from your mother’s house.

 

My favourite episodes involve Squidward getting hurt.

 

Can I send you a Trojan virus via text?

 

Look at me looking for you in a Kinder Surprise.

 

You like it when Sandy shames SpongeBob for his lisp.

 

Will you fax me a list of my skin problems?

 

Look at me transcribing our chats in a fluffy notebook. 

 

You’re Larry the Lobster. I’m Plankton. Squish me.

 

Can I become the junk in your inbox?

 

Look at me.

Italo Ferrante (he/him) earned a BA in English Literature and Creative Writing from the University of Warwick. He is currently undertaking an MA in Creative Writing at Lancaster University. To date, his work has been selected for publication by Train River, Nymphs & Thugs, Dreich, Queer Zine, Flash Journal, Reinvention, Poetry Salzburg, Impossible Archetype, and Orchard Lea Press.

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